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Love & Money is a MarketWatch series looking at how money issues impact our relationships with significant others, friends and family. While swiping on the dating app Bumble, Laurann O鈥橬eill, 26, found someone who caught her eye 鈥?for all the wrong reasons. He was 23, attractive and obnoxious. Evan referred to himself as an entrepreneur. His dating profile featured a photo of himself popping a bottle of champagne on a boat. His perfect first date was 鈥淛umping on a private jet with no destination.鈥?Another photo showed him and a friend casually reclining on a private jet. Singles are selling themselves short on dates by bragging about their social status and wealth, but this was a whole new level. 鈥淗e鈥檚 the perfect example of an eye-roll profile,鈥?O鈥橬eill, a law clerk who lives in the Riverdale neighborhood of the Bronx, told MarketWatch. She stumbled on the profile last month while watching 鈥淰anderpump Rules,鈥?an L.A.-based television show about a bunch of spoiled millennials. Reality television shows like 鈥淜eeping Up with the Kardashians,鈥?and YouTube GOOG, -2.61% influencers may be fueling this problem. O鈥橬eill sees an increasing number of profiles like this on dating sites.
On this particular evening, it felt like her dating life was imitating the rich kids on reality TV. Was this guy for real? She immediately took a screen shot of his photos and sent them to her friends in a 鈥渃an you believe this guy? 鈥?text. She was amused by how ostentatious he was and 鈥?merely out of curiosity, she says 鈥?swiped right to match with him. That may have been the final insult: He didn鈥檛 swipe right back. 2 billion-plus dating industry has a lot of players, some are more authentic and humble than others. The more subtle singletons set up dating profiles stating, 鈥漀ew Yorker competition winner鈥?(translation: 鈥淚鈥檓 smart鈥? or 鈥漧ooking to find a slower pace of life after selling my technology business鈥?(translation: 鈥淚鈥檓 rich!鈥?. Welcome to the age of aspirational dating, where singles are selling themselves short by over-selling themselves online and, if they get past Tinder, on a first date.
Millennials and everyone else have honed their skills on Facebook and Instagram FB, -1.95% where people craft the perfect, if not entirely accurate, narrative of their life. 鈥淒ating apps have become an extension of social media,鈥?says Dan Ilani founder of Sweatt, a fitness-based dating app, in terms of people going to great lengths to portray themselves in a flattering light. It鈥檚 the Instagramization of dating 鈥?showing your 鈥渇iltered鈥?self instead of your real self. A vacation photo sitting on a yacht is worth more than a 1,000 words, but flaunting your lifestyle may also sink your chances of a date. 鈥淭here鈥檚 been more of a shift toward people showing off experiences rather than showing off material possessions,鈥?he says. But, like the best marketing, it鈥檚 not always subtle. 鈥淚t鈥檚 like, 鈥楬ere I am in Thailand,鈥?but are you sharing that picture because you loved being in Thailand, or because you鈥檙e showing off your vacation? Exaggerating your successes to impress others seems to be more common among men than women. One study released last month, 鈥淏ullshitters.
Who Are They and What Do We Know about Their Lives? 鈥?found that men are more likely than women to engage in such braggadocious behavior. Wealthier people are more prone to hyperbole than lower income individuals, the researchers from at the University College of London and the Australian Catholic University found. Some dating veterans caution against believing everything you hear. Jessie Breheim, 24, a marketing manager from St. Paul, Minn. The duo met on the dating site Plenty of Fish a little over two years ago. On the first date, he said he was friends with business tycoon David Geffen, and bragged about coming from money. It wasn鈥檛 exactly humble, but it was exciting (at first). Of course it can work, at least for a time. At first, she was taken aback by his famous connections and she had never met any legendary Hollywood moguls or hung out with movie stars and, well, wouldn鈥檛 that be nice?